[ But God ]

 

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. [ Romans 8:28 ]

I was led by the Holy Spirit to share pieces of my life, many of my testimonies, some people may know me but don’t know the truth of me and what made me...

For everything we live through makes us the person we are to become. I was not raised in church but I was raised with spiritual role models placed around me at different times in my life, some known and some unknown. My heart was called to share my Life testimonies to hopefully encourage someone today. I truly feel transparency is the most beautiful thing!

I’ll start from my earliest memory or some might say my earliest trauma because that is exactly what God does. He has patterns and will always take what was sent to harm us for our good if we Trust in him! I might not have saw the good at the time but looking back I definitely do. ☺️

My parents (first) wed in December 1975. My parents were each other‘s first loves. My brother came first then 2 years later me. My parents were only children and I do not have any aunts and uncles. (This will matter later as I become a mother.)

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

I can’t tell you when the (first) divorce happened because I can’t remember. Their time apart (1st divorce) wasn’t long, they renewed their vows rather quickly, (2nd marriage) when I was in kindergarten. The 2nd marriage did not last long either. Again, I cannot tell you how old I was when they divorced the second time but I would guess to say 7. During the divorces my parents both wed other people but that also ended in divorce for both of them. My parents have been married five times each, 3 to each other and 2 marriages to other people. My father Is still married to his last wife.

When my parents were divorced we would spend some time with my father but not a lot. I have to add that my father is a broken man. His life was full of brokenness, he didn’t have the best role models and definitely didn’t know how to be a father. This has been a struggle for our relationship for years in many ways.

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

The reason I never remember when the divorces happened is because I had amazing grandparents! They always picked up the pieces. They are the reason I have a foundation, without them there would be no foundation, no security and there would be no core of me. My grandparents spoiled my brother and I because I think that’s how they tried to make up for some of the pain we were dealing with. My brother and I had our spoiled times but yet financially low times. My mother didn’t like to work and always struggled with money. My brother and I could have anything we wanted at a store (grandparents) or not even allowed fruit snacks (mom) because we didn’t have the money.

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

[ My 1st tug on my heart ]

One night spending time with my grandfather, I was around 8 years old, I was alone in their TV Room watching a show I had never watched. It had puppets and a lady with a lot of makeup and big hair, (My grandmother was a cosmetologist and I grew up LOVING all things Beauty) I was mesmerized and drawn to the show. It was a Christian show talking about God. My little heart was filled with curiosity and driven to have my heart filled with love. They spoke of wanting God in your heart and why you need him. I KNEW I needed him but didn’t know what I was about to do. They guided people to ask for redemption and say the the “redemption prayer“, so I did. I remember my grandfather checking in on me during this but I don’t think he knew what exactly I was watching, by the way it was Tammy Faye Baker and her husbands show. This memory would leave me till years later but I meant what I said that night.

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

During the divorces we moved a lot! From my kindergarten year to 5th grade we moved more times than I can tell you... By 5th grade I had been to almost every school in Hamilton county, sometimes 2 or 3 changes in schools a year...

Kindergarten: Started in Westfield, moved to Noblesville.

1st: Noblesville, Zionsville, Noblesville

2nd: Noblesville, Sheridan Marion elementary

3rd: Sheridan Adams elementary

4th: Sheridan Adams elementary, Pentecostal school (Not Our Religion), Hamilton Heights

5th- Senior Year, Sheridan

P.S. I was only 10 years old when we settled.

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

The reason why we settled... This might be the hardest tragedy of my life. 😢 My grandfather, the foundation, had a horrific accident at work and was paralyzed. It was 1988, he was a quadriplegic for almost 10 years. Life as we knew it was forever changed! Thankful for him to be alive but a different man he was; our foundation now had a crack. My grandmother stood by his side the entire time. Her love, care and devotion to him is a model I live by.

Now my parents had to step up their game and actually parent for theirselves for the first time. The accident brought my parents back together again for their 3rd and final marriage. By this time I was 13 and my brother 15, the most important years of a child’s life.

I would love to tell you my teenage years were as fulfilled as my youth, with my grandparents, but I can’t. The brokenness in me started to show; the abandonment with the divorces and now my grandfather, the typical preteen insecurities, lack of being secure in Christ and rejection in some form or another. I started drinking (a lot) when I was 13. Then after came drugs. Drinking and drugs made me think I was confident and numbed my mind to not feel the pain I was experiencing inside.

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

Around 16 years old came my 1st love. You see I had this idea, from my parents relationship, that your first love could or should be your last love. This relationship wasn’t your normal teenage relationship. I forgot to tell you my mom was the mom who wanted to be your best friend and the “cool” mom. All of our (my brother and I) friends adored her for this. The “cool mom” allowed my 1st love to move in our home and live with us. (Super long story behind all of the whys.) So my first relationship, first love, first roommate was DEEP and not good for me! (Remember, I was already quite broken and breaking by the day) The scars that it created would last for years, not every lesson in this relationship was bad but the hurt when it was over was the worst! I was so madly in love with him. This relationship was on and off for years. The heart break led me to depression, so deep I quit school my junior year (with my mother’s permission, remember she’s the best friend mom).

The summer before Senior year I started to rise. (Praise GOD!) I went to summer school to make up credits, took classes @ IUPUI, went to night school and finished my Senior year and graduated mid term. This was 1996. That is when I started looking for my purpose, why we are here and what is God all about...

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

In 1997, my grandfather became ill and was hospitalized. He had been in the hospital many times over the years. I always knew one of the visits could be his last but wasn’t expecting it to come so quickly. His illness led him to be placed on life support and our family had to make the final decision to let him go. It was the most painful, heart breaking decision but he had suffered long enough. He was a very active man before the accident and seeing him unable to move and not be who he once was before was almost just as sad. 😢

He past on April 10, 1997. (April 12th was my grandparents wedding anniversary)

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

Back to my purpose, I had been asking questions and reading books on God’s purpose for your life but everything hadn’t came together for me yet. During my grandfathers hospital stay In ICU, my family was lost! I remember going into the hallway and tears wouldn’t stop rolling down my face. I sat on the ground and a lady appeared and checked on me. She appeared to work @ the hospital, I think she was a janitor. She was warm, kind and caring. She asked me if I was ok and talked with me about my grandfather. She was so comforting in my time of sadness. I spoke with my family about her but they never saw or spoke to her. I don’t remember ever seeing her again either. (God places Heavenly Messengers in your life and uses the least expected people to give the message) The day we were turning life support off my grandparent’s pastor was there to comfort and guide my family. It was this day I sat down with him and truly gave my life to the Lord. I had finally found my fulfillment in life, redemption and purpose. (Or at least the beginning of it). 🌟

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

I’m going to go quickly now, many ups and downs and a slow start to my journey with Christ.

I became even closer to my grandmother after my grandfather passed. She was my best friend, the mother my mother couldn’t be and my 1st foundation. She was my role model, my encourager, believed in me and never gave up on me. My mother was always there too but this was the time of the start of our demise. Trust dwindled quickly! Many things happened and our relationship was forever changed. We too have had our ups and downs but there are a few lessons I learned; I learned to love her from a distance, so she couldn’t hurt me. In the end she’s still my mother, the woman who gave birth to me and taught me unconditional love even if I learned mostly from her mistakes.

💜♥️💜♥️

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

Around the same time I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I thought beauty school, no that lasted about 6-9 months. Then I thought esthetician, but at the time it wasn’t easy to find a school to teach esthetics. I started at a new school and had every intention on finishing but the school wasn’t ready to start. So, back on my journey. There were schools just starting to teach massage therapy and I thought this is a part of esthetics so I’ll start here instead. I graduated in 2003. 🤗At the time, Massage was a luxury and not considered a wellness; so finding a job wasn’t easy. P.S. I never looked back @ esthetics. 🧖🏼‍♀️

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

When more than one person guides you to a destination; whether person, place or thing God is typically involved. 🌟 That’s exactly what happened next. I was guided to meet this lady by 2 totally different people in my life; I had no idea who she was. After an interview that lasted over 3 hours, I knew I found something special.

Special indeed, I worked for this company for 10 years. They watched me grow up, become a mother, lose family members and have heartache again. This career brought many lessons, much growth and beautiful friendships. It paved a road for me that would bless me later, unbeknown to me.

It also guided me back to school,

Indiana Wesleyan University 😉, where I earned my business degree. (See what God did again) I graduated in 2014.

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

In 2005, I fell in love again. ♥️ I knew this time was different but I had no idea what that would bring. Well, it brought me a son. 🤰🏼Scared out of my mind at first, I had no idea of how to be a mother nor did I ever think I wanted to. I wanted to push all of my childhood hurts away and never transfer that to another. I’m blessed to have this amazing, loyal, beautiful, god fearing best friend since high school. She told me as soon as I knew I was pregnant how much of a wonderful mother I would be and that I was made for this. ☺️ I thought she was crazy and too kind at first but I settled into this new future and new body quickly because it felt just right even though I had no idea what I was doing.

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

7 years, that’s how long my son’s Father and I were together. We never argued, loved each other dearly but neither one of us knew how to be in a healthy relationship.

We had no idea how to nurture a relationship and how much work it takes for both parties. We were missing God. We ended our relationship in 2012.

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

2010, my grandmother went to Heaven after she had suffered a massive stroke. Her time here was completed and she finally was able to reunite with my grandfather. 💗

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

2012, my mother past suddenly. She had many heath issues and didn’t care for them as she should. Her life was cut short @ 55. She no longer lives in pain or her past wounds. 💗

2012 was a hard year. September was a month of Perseverance. My mother passed in late August, a dear friend past the next week, my son’s father left town with his new love on our son’s birthday, and I left my family home and started the life of a single mother the following week. September of 2012 couldn’t end soon enough! Let me add, I was also a new college student and had only been in school 3 months when all of this happened.

FAITH pulled me through! I kept taking it day by day. I finally reached my Christmas break from school and felt like I could process everything; I cried for 2 weeks straight. I functioned through work but when I was home I wept every night. I didn’t have control over my sadness, I had to process all of my loss. May I add, the loss of my family and the dreams of a family was the deepest wound. 💔 We know we will process death in our lifetime but the loss of my family was the deepest pain. 😕

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

Another hard tragedy, 😢 after the separation/breakup with my son’s father he soon fell to addiction. This led to many obstacles; there was counseling, fights, police, court, arguing, anger, pain, hurt, sadness and tears, many tears. However, I want to get to the blessing in all of this; God used the entire situation to bless my son, his father and myself. Things are not perfect, but he is sober and we are so very proud of him.

There is still room for growth in our future.

God led me through this situation and taught me forgiveness at a level unknown to me before, unconditional love for someone whom caused us so much pain and brought my son and I closer to God.

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

[ Purpose ]

If you sit quietly and listen, God will guide you. 🌅

When my 10 year season/career ended, I had no idea what direction God was about to lead me! I thought I would continue in management, since that’s what I had just earned my degree in, but I was wrong! As a single mother/income, I was unemployed for 6 months. I took a management position and I was miserable! I was late picking up my son everyday and had limited quality time with him. I cried everyday and remember saying, “this can’t be life!” A friend suggested I massage full time, I of course thought she was crazy! As a single mother, I needed security and a steady income. I had only massaged part time since 2003; I was never able to make a full-time salary as a massage therapist in my early years. I pray and prayed, the desperate prayers to God to give me a sign! 🆘 I need for sure confirmation to take this leap. At first, nothing! Although I had noticed my hands would throb with energy at night but didn’t put the energy to the possible answer to my prayers. Then one night it all made since! 💡 God was telling me to use my hands! I took that leap of faith and started massaging full time.

I was able to grow my clientele quickly! #Blessed I listened to God and he lined up everything I needed. I spent 3 years with one company and a year with a great Chiropractor. Then I felt God tell me to jump again! This time it was to open your own studio. This couldn’t be right because I quite enjoy a safety net. However, I know when he says jump the blessings are endless. Every step I took in opening my business was EASY, that’s when you know God is with you! It only took me less than 2 1/2 months and I officially opened my studio 2019. I spent any downtime on my knees in prayer and speaking God’s word out loud to bless my business. In less than 6 months I was completely booked and ran my schedule on a pre-book status. Do you see all of these blessings?!?! I listened to God and he brought me to a place I never even imaged I could be or even wanted.

My clients have been vessels to grow my faith and my business and is now my ministry. He Anointed me to my Purpose-Massage Therapist and my Business, my ministry, to grow me closer to him. 🥰 The blessings are endless because GOD is so GOOD!

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

There are still obstacles in my life today. Life is not perfect nor am I, I just no longer call them obstacles,. They are my Growth Opportunities. 🌱 I choose to handle/live my life by giving it ALL to God. Everyday is a lesson and every moment an opportunity to grow closer to him...

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

It all started with a little broken girl, who grew into an unhealthy teenager, then a woman on the run; BUT GOD Blessed me with exactly what I needed. ♥️

Now, I am a healed, healthy Woman! My son is now almost 16 and I thank God he blessed me to be his Mom everyday. #Purpose

I am a successful business owner blessed beyond belief! I am living out my purpose as a Healer and spreading God’s word with ♥️ in my ministry/business.

[ God Blessed me with exactly what I needed ]

I wouldn’t be who I am today without every single obstacle/growth opportunity but my FAITH is stronger than the obstacles! That’s why I am a survivor... My God saved me. ♥️

He can SAVE you too! If you don’t have Yeshua/Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, now is the time... 🙌🏼

Everyone has a story, this is just a deeper glimpse of mine to help someone else. Transparency is a beautiful thing! ✝️

Please PM me to learn more about God, your redemption and/or your Savior Jesus. I would love to help, share resources or just listen... 🤍